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Consultants say the funniest things

The economy must be recovering – there are more consultants we've never heard of crawling out of the woodwork. We had an email in from one today saying they had enjoyed our coverage of the LexisNexis Streamline product launch. They went on to ask us a number of technical questions about the Streamline SDKs – followed by the remark “We are in the process of doing research on business process management solutions for our clients who are law firms, so any help in getting answers to the above queries will be really useful.”

Make that really useful and free.

Of course 'proper' IT consultants encounter a similar problem, namely banking and finance groups – doing due diligence work in preparation for IT vendor mergers and acquisitions – trying to pick their brains for free and quibbling over fees, when they stand to make huge sums from any deal.

Perhaps the best way to deal with these free-loaders is to give them totally bogus answers to their questions. There again, looking at the aftermath of some of these acquisitions, perhaps this has already been happening.

3 replies on “Consultants say the funniest things”

This seems to be my “Orange Rag Comment Week”.
Perhaps many of these new consultants are redundant IT people (from whichever side of the fence) who cannot now find gainful employment and are therefore forced to try scratching for a living by working for themselves in the field where they have some (I would hope) knowledge? Then again, many could just be complete and utter charlatans trying to make a quick buck out of distracted IT departments. Who knows?
Maybe there's scope here for a poll: you name a consultant (one a week?) and your readership gets to vote “Champion” or “Charlatan”. That might also give Anonymous somewhere to vent his/her spleen if you are going to be editing comments (as to which, please don't!).

I recall the old adage
“A consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you time and charges you for the privilege”
and that's just the good ones.

And I recall the old definition of expert: “x” being an unknown quantity and “spurt” being a drip under pressure.

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