Some people look forward to winning an Oscar, some aspire to a Nobel prize but in the UK legal IT sector there is only one set of awards that really matter: the Witchies Awards, the awards nobody wants to win – and which possibly should be renamed the Bitchy Awards.

This year's awards ceremony took place last night, as part of the annual Legal IT Forum event held in the glittering surroundings of the Marriott Hanbury Manor Hotel (part Tudorbethan mansion/part Fawlty Towers) in the English Home Counties near Ware (supply your own Ware/where/wear puns) and we have the full name and shame results. This year's judging panel – Les Belle Dammes Sans Merci (and sans reading glasses) – were Jan Durant, Julie Berry and Janet Day.

The nominees for the first category – The Hobo Award for having a fixed grin but no fixed abode – were Iain Lauwerys, George Kalakoti (according to the Witches now ********** **** ****** deleted by our lawyers) and Frans Post. And the winner was Frans Post, the CFO of Gates & Co.

The nominees for the second category – The Do What I Say Not What I Do Award
for providing consultancy services to legal IT while working from bed on a laptop – were Peter Owen, Neil Cameron and Melanie Farquharson And the winner was
Peter Owen of Lights-On Consulting.

The nominees for the third category – The Tumbleweed Event Award
for hosting and event and nobody turned up – were Dan Brown of the KnowList, Jeremy Hill of Innovators in Law and Jenny Adams of ICBI. And the winner was
Jenny Adams.

The nominees for the fourth category – The Apprentice Award
for the legal IT vendor we'd like to say 'Your're Fired' – were Ben Mitchell* of DocsCorp, Kaye Sycamore of IntApp and Gareth Thomas of Tikit. And the winner was
Gareth Thomas. (*A bit hard on Ben as his DocsCorp sponsored bacon butties were very popular come midnight.)

The nominees for the fifth category – The Nobody Ever Gives Me An Award Award
for the person who constantly complains that nobody gives them an award – were Fran Evans, Keith Feeny and Iain Hepburn. And the winner was
Keith Feeny, the director of IT & Operations at Hill Dickinson.

The nominees for the sixth category – The Have A Nice Day – Reach Out to Me Award
for being an American – were Tony DeCerce, Scott Rechtschaffen and Eric Hunter. And the winner was
Tony DeCerce, who may or may not have a 'special relationship' with one of the judging panel.

The nominees for the seventh category – The Eat Your Own Dog Food Award
for the vendor who never uses their own product – were Damian Jeal of Copitrak, Ben Mills of Bighand and Alison Thorpe of nQueue Billback. And the winner was
Alison Thorpe, who is probably going to have the last laugh as her company's kangaroo-and-little-joey promotional soft-toys continue to be the most popular freebie. Even now there are young children whose first spoken words to their parents are not 'Mamma' and 'Dadda' but 'cost recovery systems'.

The nominees for the eighth and final category – The Janet Day Award
for IT services to Mankind – were Janet Day, Janet Day and Janet Day. And the winner, controversially, was Janet's ever lovin' long suffering husband
Stu.

Wallace & Grommit Cracking Piece of Cheddar update… relax, Neil Cameron did get his plate of cheese instead of pudding at the awards dinner, so we can all rest easy in our beds tonight.